It just happened
by bromance
Summary: Things totally went out of hand when Josh told Drake that he's done with him. The story starts after Megan left Drakes room in "Josh is done". Drake/Josh Slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** It just happened  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything. The characters of Drake & Josh belong to Nickelodeon!

**About:** The story starts after Megan left Drakes room in the episode "Josh is done".

**Note:** I'm a german girl… my english is NOT perfect. Please don't be so strict when you read it!

* * *

Drake looked at the ping-pong table and sighed. He remembered the movie Forrest Gump and how Tom Hanks played ping-pong all alone, but he wasn't in the mood to rebuild the table just to play a few minutes. It wasn't the same without Josh.

He turned on the music, climbed up to his bed and laid down. He wasn't really tired but on the other hand he wasn't in a mood to do anything else. He didn't want to talk to anyone. Even if Megan would have agreed to play ping pong with him, he really doubted it would have been fun.

He grapped his old teddy and put him on his chest. He never did that since he was way too cool for a teddy, but his mother knew him well enough to never put Mr. Cesar away. And now he was seventeen years old, playing guitar and singing with his own band, dating girls almost every day, he was good looking, charming… and alone with his old teddy.

„Well, Mr. Cesar, how are you?" Drake asked the toy. When he was a little kid he had spoken to that teddy very very often, almost every night, especially after his father died. He was just five years old and way to young to realize what had happen. His mom was pregnant with Megan and after the accident happened his grandmother was living with him and his mom for a few months to help them.

Drake only remembered his mothers tears and how she always tried to be strong for him. And how she told him, that it didn't matter that his father wasn't coming home anymore because somehow he would be always there. Mr. Cesar was a present his father brought him from one of his business trips and so that teddy had become something special for Drake. It probably wasn't really a father's gift, but he liked to think that way. Drake didn't even remember his father, he was too young when he died by a car-accident on his way home. He just knew the man from some pics and some very fading memories. And he didn't think about his father very often. Especially since his mother was married to Walter Nichols – who Drake would named as his father by second. Walter was a typical father-type. Very boring, very bourgeois … but very likeable.

So if someone asked for his father, he would answer: "Walter Nichols." A good guy, a good father… not really cool, but he made his mom happy and so Drake was happy.

„You know, right now… I can tell you, life sucks", Drake told the teddy on his chest. „I was thinking about a lot the last week – I had a lot of time to think. And I have to admit thinking isn't funny. As long as you don't question everything it's fine, but when you start to ask yourself about the reasons for everything… it probably turns out really bad for yourself. So it seems that I don't have any real close friends. And I think I never had a really close friend, you know, someone who knows everything about me and someone who… kinda belongs to me. Until Josh came along. I never thought about that before and it never mattered. I am Drake. For all my life people just loved me for who I am. And the only person who knows me better than anyone else… dumped me for who I am. Kinda ironic, isn't it? It's ironic…"

Josh crossed his arms in front of his chest and leant against the door frame. He knew he should have said something, it wasn't nice to overhear someone, but he kept standing in the door. When he was on his way into his room he met Megan on the stairs and all she said was "You broke it, now fix it". And when he arrived at the door he heard Drakes voice so he waited at the door.

Drake looked at the teddy and started to play with his ears. It still hurt. It was a few hours ago that he almost cried in front of the entire class just to tell Josh, that he was sorry. It wasn't planed, it just happened. It was humbling and Drake had left school as fast as he could after he almost broke down. Well, not really as fast as he could. He waited at the floor for one or two minutes, but nothing happened. Josh didn't came out and then Drake left. Thank god no one was home when he arrived – still wet from the chemical-shower. „Well… I guess I failed as a friend or brother – or both. And I guess… now I get what I deserve – nothing. But do you know what hurts the most? Not to be needed. I am useless. And not to be missed, that hurts, too. O, and getting replaced is also not funny. I've never got dumped before, it really sucks."

Josh closed his eyes briefly. He never expected to hear these kind of words from Drake Parker ever. His stepbrother was best known for his unconcerned behaviour. He was selfish and ruthless – and careless. He never talked about his feelings or thoughts. That probably was the reason why Josh was still shocked about what had happened in the class this morning.

„It's been a week now… it feels like forever", Drake kept talking. „Maybe it would be easier if we wouldn't live together. I thought about moving into the guest room, but… if I'm gonna do this it's like giving up on him… on us, you know? And as long as we're still living in the same room and he doesn't move out… there's still hope that one day he's gonna talk to me again. Even if it's just a good night or good morning or hello – just something. Or maybe he starts to wake me up again? Or maybe… he still ignores me until the day he leaves for college."

Josh was attempted to say something. Since the morning, since Drake had left the classroom he was thinking about what to say. He knew they had to talk. They couldn't ignore what had happened. And he wanted to talk to Drake, he just wasn't sure about what to say. Should he tell him that he would forgive him and they'd be friends again or should he tell him that he couldn't take it anymore because even though Josh believed his brother's words from the morning, he knew nothing would change between them.

„I got a B in english this Wednesday", Drake told Mr. Cesar. „Do you believe that?"

I don't, Josh thought and raised his eyebrown.

„I've never got a B before in english – or in any other subject", Drake continued. „That's cool, I mean, it's a B. I was… so proud. I mean, I'm sure it's just because Mrs. Hayfer is gone, but who cares? It's a B. And if this would have happend two weeks ago, Josh would have been proud of me, too. But now… he doesn't care about it anymore. He doesn't even turn around when Mr. Fynch gave me my essay. So I got a B and no one cares about it. I mean, yeah, sure, Mom was proud. But come on she's my mom, she loves me no matter what. It's different with Josh. He's the smart one and he always tries to teach me something. Most of time he fails in it. But he always got good grades and I… don't. I don't know, it's just… it's different when he says, he's proud of me. It means something."

Josh realized that he was smiling… because he was proud. And he also remembered when Mr. Fynch said „Well done" to Drake, but he thought it meant „Another good D for you" – as always.

„He's not coming home", Drake said sadly and took a deep breath. „I know he hasn't to work this afternoon. So I guess he's hanging out with … the others or maybe Helen, just anyone but me. And I lie on my bed and talk to a teddy." He squeezed the teddys bully and prodded it's nose with his finger.

I am not hanging out with anyone, Josh thought and swallowed. The whole afternoon he was walking around, thinking about what to do and what to say.

„I got a job at the music store in town two days ago", Drake told Mr. Cesar. „I… I was thinking that if I take a job and save the money I could buy Josh a new bike, I mean, I broke the last one so it's the least thing I could do, right. With working every day and every weekend I could get enough money for a new bike at christmas. It's expensive, almost 500 Dollars, it's a lot and I do not really enjoy working. Most of time it's annoying and christmas is far away. But… well, I thought if I could do this then Josh would see that I take the responsibility for what I did and he would believe me that I'm sorry and then he would… well… whatever. Anyway, this morning I saw a new bike in the garage and when I asked my mom about it she told me that they had bought Josh a new one. So lets face it: He has a new bike, new friends, good grades, no rash anymore and a date with a really cute girl… and I have a B no one cares about, a job I do not need anymore, a zit on my face, a roommate that doesn't talk to me and a humiliation that lasts forever. Or at least for the rest of school days."

Josh rolled his eyes. That was too much to take, what had happend to Drake Parker, the funny boy who loved his life and never cared about anyone or anything? Josh never expected to end up in a situation like this.

„You know I don't get this whole done-thing", Drake said with a low voice. „I mean, I know that I shouldn't have left without him and … looking back now I can say it was so not worth of it. And I knew that this test meant a lot to him, but it was just a test and he didn't even lost a grade, he got an A+ for it in the end. So what's the point of this whole punishment? And if it's so easy for him to cut me out, how less does he care for me? I understand that he's angry and I would also understand if he would yell at me – god I would love that. I would prefer him yelling on me over ignoring me."

Josh slammed the door behind him and walked over to Drakes bed.

Drake looked at him, still holding Mr. Cesar and waited. Since when was Josh home? Did he heard what Drake had said? And if he did, how much did he heard? "Since when are you here?"

"You want to talk?" Josh asked. "Fine, lets talk."

Drake sat up and looked at his brother, still hold Mr. Cesar and swallowed. The look in Josh's face wasn't forgivingly. He looked angry. "Josh…"

"You are selfish. You are the most selfishst person I've ever met in my entire life! You don't care for anyone but you. You are ruthless, which is a result from being selfish by the way. You hurt me – more than once, Drake and for most of time you didn't even realize it, just because you don't care. You forgot my birthday, you… you forgot me… for god sakes. And that makes me the one who doesn't care about you? Really?!"

Drake just looked into his brothers eyes – blue eyes, angry blue eyes. This would'nt end up in a good way. He nodded and swallowed again to suppress the upcoming tears. Now Josh was yelling at him, but it wasn't better than being ignored. "Look, I know I made some mistakes or maybe a lot of mistakes, but whatever I did to you, I would have never ever cut you out of my life to punish you!"

"You never had any reason to even think that your life would be better without me! I'm just a geek, I'm not selfish or ruthless nor did I ever anything bad to you! And by the way, I am not doing this to punish you."

"I never meant to hurt you."

Josh closed his eyes and shook his head. "And that is what makes it even worse." He sighed and climbed up to Drakes bed to sit down beside him. "So, how are your hands?"

"My hands?" Drake asked confused.

"The accident, this morning…?" Josh reminded him.

"O!" He looked on his hands. The shower was way more painful than the chemical stuff. "Nothing, it's okay, I'm fine. My hands… are fine."

"Good." Josh nodded and looked down. The situation was weird. He was angry and hurt, but at the same time he was sorry.

Drake was nervous. Josh was here, right beside him and he knew he needs to say or do something to prevent that he would leave again. But he had no idea what to say or to do. He was afraid to say something wrong. "And… how was the date with the girl from the supermarket?"

"Horrible", Josh answered. "She hadn't any sense of humor."

Drake nodded. He tried to smile, but he felt insecure. "Sorry to hear that."

"Well, at least she was hot and a good kisser", Josh answers and smiled when he saw Drakes confused face. He knocked his upperarm and nodded. "Hey, even though you do not want to see a girl again, kiss her, right? That's what you told me."

"You act as if it was something bad when I told you to do that", Drake remembered.

"Yeah, I did. I always do, don't I?" Josh closed his eyes briefly. Smalltalk wasn't the answer to their problems. "Drake, listen… it's not that I don't miss you. Even though it might be easier for me now with Helen and the others and with school… and with life, it's also… well…"

"What?"

"It's boring." Josh hunched his shoulders. "It's probably a great life for someone who never knew what it means to share life with you, but… I can tell you, it's boring."

Drake felt a little relived. At least Josh missed him. But somehow he knew there was more in common. "There's a but, right?"

"Yes, there is", Josh tooke a deep breath and swallowed. This wasn't easy for him. It would have been easy to call it even, forgive his brother and be friends with him again, that would have been easy. But the next Drake-moment would happen really fast and he was not willing to get back where he was coming from. "I can't keep living like this", he said and looked at Drake. He looked so scared, so vulnerable and it hurt Josh. He never saw his brother like this. "And … I doubt you will change and I am also not sure, if I want you to change."

"What does that mean?" Drake asked. "If I'm going to change you will hang out with me again, but on the other hand you don't want me to change and so you don't wanna hang out with me anymore?" He blinked nervously. "I would prefer the changing part. At least I can try. I… I have a job, a real job, at…"

"I know, I heard it", Josh nodded and gave him a smile. "That's a nice thing, Drake, it is. But… be honest, if I wouldn't have say that I'm done with you, would you've tried to renew my bike?"

Drake wanted to say yes, of course, but he knew he wouldn't have. He wouldn't have cared about the bike for a second. "Probably not, but that doesn't matter. Now I am tr…"

"Probably not", Josh nodded.

"But…", Drake was searching for the right words, but whatever he wanted to say he couldn't find any words to defend himself. Josh was right, he wasn't a good brother to him. He was selfish and ruthless and it was only a matter of time before Josh was done with him. Now it happend. "So that's it? You're done and I… have to deal with it."

"Yeah, I guess that's it." Josh looked down for a few seconds. It felt like a break up, it was the end of a relationship, of a really strong relationship, even if it had it's weakness. It was also a very long relationship. For more than three years Drake Parker was his best friend, the person he told everything, the person he trusted for more than a hundred percent. The last week wasn't that bad, just different. He missed Drake, missed having fun with him – but he also enjoyed being with people who treated him with respect. And in the long term the respect was the better choice.

"Look…", Josh frightened when he turned his head to Drake and saw tears on his brothers face. He was sitting beside him, he didn't move, he just sat there with tears all over his face. His hands clutched the teddy as if he tried to hold himself onto the toy. Josh reached for Drakes arm, but the second he touched him, Drake pulled away and looked him in the eyes. That look frightened Josh again. There was nothing to see in his eyes, they were just empty and cold and tear-stained.

"Don't touch me", Drake hissed. "Never touch me again. And never speak to me again. You want us to be done for good… here we go."

Josh looked after his brother, when he left the room and slammed the door. He felt guilty. He knew he was right to do what he did but even though he knew it, Drake was still his brother and he loved that guy and to see him crying was really hardcore, especially because it was his fault. He saw the picture with him and Drake as Blues Brothers on his desk and felt even more guilty. "Damn it."

Drake stood in front of the mirror in den bathroom and looked on himself through tear-stained eyes. He hated what he saw, whoever it was, just a boy who wasn't worth of believe in that he could change, just a boy who wasn't worth of giving a chance to, just a boy who wasn't worth to forgive, just a useless loser.


	2. Chapter 2

Josh sighed loudly when the doorbell didn't stopped ringing. It was after midnight and he was sleeping. He turned his bedside lamp on and sat up. "Drake!"

When he didn't get an answer Josh crawled out of his bed to wake up his stepbrother. Even though they weren't talking to each other anymore since almost two weeks now or rather Drake wasn't talking to him anymore, Josh wasn't willing to went down alone in the middle of the night.

Their parents were on a romantic weekend and Megan was with her best friend over these 2 days. Normally a weekend like this would've been fun for them because they were all alone in the house and could do whatever they wanted to do. But nothing was normal anymore.

"Drake!" Josh climbed up the ladder and jumped down again when he saw that Drakes bed was empty. He looked onto his watch, it was 2 o'clock in the morning. He remembered Drake left in the early evening and when Josh went to bed at midnight Drake wasn't back home. But it was friday night and so he hadn't worried that much. But what if something had happend to Drake? What if the police was outside the door to tell him that something had happened to his brother?

Josh scuffled down the stairs and turned the lights in the living room on. "Stop ringing!" he yelled and put his hand on the doorknob. "Who's it?"

"Trevor."

Josh sighed and rolled his eyes when he opened the door. A second later he grasped when someone fell into his arms. "What…?" He looked down and recognized that he was holding Drake who seemed to be unconscious. Josh turned back to Trevor. "What happend?"

"He's drunk", Trevor answered. "I have no idea how much he drunk, but it was far too much. He puked five times in front of the club."

Josh put his arm around Drake to make sure that he won't fall down. "Dude, why did you let him drink? He's just 17!"

"Why did you let him down? He's your brother!" Trevor saluted to Josh and nodded. "Good night."

Josh slammed the door and looked at Drake again, who still hung in his arms. He sat down on the step in front of the door, put his arm around Drake and slapped his face. "Hey, wake up!"

"Mh", Drake murmured.

"Drake!" Josh touched his face lightly and put a finger under Drakes chin to raise his head. "Hey, look at me, bro. Come on." He nodded when Drake opened his eyes. "That's good, open your eyes. Look at me."

"Joshie… you're here?"

"O lord!" Josh puckered his face when he smelled the mix of alcohol and sick in Drakes breath. "Why did you do that?"

"Joshie…" Drake snuggled against Josh and put his arms around him. "I miss you."

Josh closed his eyes briefly while putting an arm around Drake to hold him. That would become a very long night. He stroked over Drakes head and put a wisp of hair out of his face. "You need to shower."

"Okay", Drake whispered and intensified his embracement. "I'm cold."

"You're going to have a headache tomorrow, you know that?"

"Tomorrow is no… not here yet", Drake babbled drunken. "And right now it doesssnn hurt." He looked up and smiled at Josh. "Annnn you're here." He snuggled against Josh again and closed his eyes. "Miss you."

"I'm always here", Josh answered with a low voice while still stroking over Drakes head.

"Yeah."

Josh shook his head. Things were defnitely running out of control, Drake was running out of control. Not only that he was really rebellious against the teachers lately, he also skipped school more often and Josh wonders how long it would last before someone would inform their parents. And now he got drunk. "Come up, you need to take a shower and then… we both need to sleep."

"No, no, no, don't go…", Drake whined and grabbed after Josh's shirt when he stood up. "Pleeeeeease, donnnn leave me again."

Josh took Drakes hands in his and looked down on him. He knew his brother was drunken, really drunken, but somehow he also seemed unbelievable desperate. "I won't leave you."

Drake looked up and held himself on Josh's hands to not fall back. "Promise?"

Josh was still confused about Drakes behaviour. Since their last talk Drake totally ignored him, didn't even look at him and now, with some alcohol he acted totally opponent. "Okay, come up!" Josh bent down to lift Drake up. "Put your arms around my neck."

A moment later Josh had a huge problem to keep the balance when Drake turned his arms around his neck and then jumped up on him and also turned his legs around him. He leaned against the wall to make sure that he won't fall and put his arms around Drake to hold him. "Dude, next time give me a sign before you do that."

"Now I'm bigger thannn you", Drake babbled and laid his head on Josh's shoulder. "O, don't shake thassss not goooood."

"Just a moment, we're almost there." After he had put Drake onto the toilette Josh decided to not put him under the shower. His brother couldn't barely stand on his own feet. So he took a washcloth to refresh Drake a little. He pulled of his jacket, shirt, shoes and trousers and put them all into the laundry basket. Then he brushed his tees, which wasn't that easy because Drake giggled all the time.

"Lets got to bed", Josh said after he cleaned up Drakes face from the toothpaste.

"Do you hate me?" Drake asked with a low voice.

"No Drake, I do not hate you", Josh answered and pulled his brother on his feets.

"Are you sss… sssuurrrrr?"

"Totally." Josh couldn't resist to smile. He shook his head. "Do you hate me?"

"Yesss!" Drake nodded and then shook his head and leaned against Josh. "No, I mean no. No. But I tried to. Didnnn work."

Josh looked at Drake and laughed. "You know you won't remember anything tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah. But Josh."

"What?"

"I have to pee."

Josh looked at him and sighed out. "Please tell me that you don't need me for that."

"No." Drake smiled at him. "Jusss tell me whisch toilette of these two I should use."

"Mh." Josh raised an eyebrow and opened the toilet lid. "I think we both need therapy after this." He placed his brother right in front of the toilette and pulled his pants down. "Sit down and pee."

A few minutes later and after a few attempts Josh got Drake up to his bed, put him under the blanket and sat down beside him. "Okay, now sleep."

Drake closed his eyes and reached for Josh's hand. "I donnn hate you."

Josh nodded, knowing that Drake couldn't see it anymore. "You should take care of yourself a little more, bro."

"Why?" Drake asked, almost sleeping. "You were right. I'm not worsss of it. I'm jusss a selfish loser. No one cares about me, so why should I?"

Josh looked at his sleeping brother for a few minutes. Drake was drunk, he didn't know what he said and he defenitely didn't mean it. He couldn't mean it, he couldn't really believe what he said. But what if…? No, that was impossible. Josh laid down right beside Drake and kept looking at him until he fell asleep, too.


	3. Chapter 3

Drake blinked and sighed when he felt a huge pain in his head. "O god, what's that?"

After a few seconds he remembered the last night, the club, the alcohol, Trevor and all the happy people he saw, which had made him very sad and even more lonely than he already was. But with every slug of alcohol the feeling got less. But now without any alcohol it was all back and it felt even worse.

Drake sat up and saw Joshs empty bed. He was gone. Then he looked down on himself. He was wearing nothing but his underwear. He couldn't even remember how he came home and how he got into bed, but he remembered that Josh was there, he remembered they talked. Or was it just a dream?

He climbed down the ladder, reached out for his shirt and put in on when he left the room. After he visited the toilette he went down into the kitchen to get a glas of water and an aspirin.

"Josh?" he asked through the living room, but he didn't get an answer. It was just 9 o'clock in the morning, on a saturday, but no one answered him. No one was home. No one cared. Drake nodded to himself and scuffled back into his room. He closed the door behind him and saw Josh's empty bed again. Even if they talked last night, Josh also didn't care, he wasn't even home. Drake walked over to his bed and stopped immediately on the ladder when he saw his brother sleeping on his bed. He just laid there and slept.

"O my god…", Drake whispered and climbed up the ladder. He crawled back into his bed and laid down right beside Josh. He was there, he was sleeping right beside him the whole night. He cares, Drake thought and a little smile ran over his face, right before he starts to feel guilty for what he did. He was drunken, that wasn't a good thing and he didn't even like the taste of alcohol. He just drunk to forget. But now it was all back. He was still just a guy who's not worth to believe in. And what he had done last night wouldn't make it any better. He touched Joshs cheek soflty and closed his eyes briefly. "I'm sorry."

Drake decided to savor the moment as long as it would last. So he stood laying there and watched his brother sleeping. He saw Josh sleeping very often but it was different this time, something changed. He changed, he knew it. He was afraid of the moment Josh woke up and would walk away – again. And maybe he would be angry, too. Or maybe he wouldn't say anything.

A few minutes later Josh started to blink. He needed a few seconds to realize why there was a window right his head and why there was a wall on his left side, but then he remembered the last night. Drake. He turned around and catched Drakes look. He looked guilty, angsty and tired. Josh just looked at him and smiled. "How are you?"

"A little headache", Drake said and tried to answer the smile, but he was sure it didn't work out really well. "Thanks… for taking care."

"Do you remember last night?" Josh asked.

"Not really. I just remember that it didn't taste very well but after two or three glases I felt a little better, well… it was easier… you know…"

"What was easier? Thinking not being worth of it?"

Drake closed his eyes and rolled over on his back. So he definitely talked to Josh last night, that wasn't just a dream. And now he had to justify for it. "It just didn't hurt that much anymore after a few drinks."

"Why do you think that, Drake?" Josh leaned on his ellbow to be able to see Drakes face. "Why do you think, you're no worth of it?"

"Why do I think that?" Drake looked at his brother. "Josh!"

"I never told you, you're not worth of being loved or trusted", Josh defended himself. He was sure, he never said that because it wasn't true and he never even thought that way. It might not be easy to live with Drake Parker, but he wasn't a bad guy.

"No, but you treat me like that."

"I do not do th…?"

"You do! You failed me, you left me alone, you didn't talk to me anymore, you switched places with other students in every single subject, just to not sitting next to me anymore, you told the security at the premiere that you don't know me, you didn't care about me when I had a chemical-accident.."

Josh shook his head. "That's not true!"

"Of course it is!" Drake yelled at him. "I waited outside the classroom for a few minutes, you didn't follow me. And then I waited at home for hours, but you didn't show up. And when you did you told me that you don't believe in me."

Josh got on his knees and looked down on Drake. "Do you think this is easy for me?!"

Drake put his hands on his face and moaned when the headache came back. He didn't want to fight, he just wanted to turn back the time. "I have nothing, Josh! No one cares about me or what I do or what I don't do or what I want or what I need or… just about me! And it doesn't matter if it's my fault or not as long as I don't get any chance to fix it! And yeah, I know I could probably easily find someone new, build a new friendship and… whatever. But, the thing is…"

Josh still looked at him and waited. "What? What's the thing? People love you, Drake, there are hundreds of students who would love to hang out with you. You could easily find someone, if you wanted to."

"But I don't want to", Drake turned his head to Josh and looked him straight in the eyes. Blue eyes, beautiful blue eyes which looked a little sad and angry. Familiar blue eyes. "I don't want someone new. I'm not done with you. It's you who moved on, not me, okay? I don't want someone else, I want back what I once had and I'm hurt and I'm sorry and I'm tired of crying and I'm tired of waiting and I'm tired of failing."

Josh laid back down on his back. He stared at the ceiling and shook his head. How could things escalate that much? What had happen? And what had happen to Drake Parker, his brother, the boy who was funny all the time, the boy who loved live, the boy who loved music and girls?

"I think I should move out", Drake said with a low voice and sat up. "I will ask Mom and Dad for the guest room. It's still almost a year until you leave for college."

Josh closed his eyes briefly. So everything Drake had said last night was true, even though he was drunk. That was how he felt. Josh sat up again, shook his head and turned to Drake. He took his head between his hands, to make sure, he was looking at him. "Listen to me, Parker. I do care about you. Of course I do! I always did, I always will, because I love you. Same goes for Mom and Dad and even for Megan. And no one thinks that you're not worth of it."

Josh leaned his forehead against Drakes when he saw tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I never wanted you to feel unworthy, I'm sorry." He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry."

Before he realized what he was doing, Drake kissed Josh on his lips, but it wasn't just a simple kiss, it was a soft touch, a soft kiss, a very intimate kiss. His heart was beating very fast and he felt something near to his stomach, something he never felt before. He was nervous and happy at the same time, even though tears were running down his face. He didn't know how this happened, but it happend an it felt good, as if he was waiting to do this since forever. When he opened his eyes he saw Josh was looking at him.

"I forgive you", Drake whispered, just to say something to break the silence. He was sure that Josh could hear his heart beating, it seemed so loud. And he was also sure that he was close to swoon when he felt Josh's thumbs touching his lips lightly, while they were still looking at each other. He couldn't barely breath and that indescribable feeling in his stomach got stronger by second.

Josh smiled at him, while still holding Drakes head between his palms. He had no idea what happend between them right now, but something was different, very different. There was an unbelievable tension between them and that kiss was to intense to ignore it. It had been so intense that Josh could still feel the butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't stop to stare on Drakes lips. He wanted to kiss him again, to taste him, to be close to him, to hold him. "So I guess I'm lucky, hm?"

"No, I'm lucky", Drake answered immediately and kissed Josh again.


	4. Chapter 4

There was an inner voice that told him to stop or at least to think about what he was doing, but Drake didn't want to think about anything, he just wanted to keep this moment and feeling forever. Not being alone anymore, being with Josh. The kiss turned from softly into passionate and Drake was sure that he was never been kissed like this before. Josh pulled him onto his lap and put his hands under Drakes shirt, which results into goosebumbles all over his body.

"I'm lucky", Drake breathed into Josh's mouth while he stripped his shirt over his head, before he starts to undress Josh. The inner voice was still asking what he was doing… but he decided not to listen. He never felt so alive before, he never felt anything like this before. He didn't want to think about reasons or consequences or anything else. All he wanted was kissing Josh and being with him as close as possible and as long as possible.

When Josh threw his shirt away he lost his balance and fell down on his back. Somehow he managed not to stop the kiss or losing Drake, he was still holding him while he was now on Josh, skin on skin. Their kiss was still going on. Whatever happend right now it felt right and wrong at the same time, it felt forbidden and meant to be and even if he would have tried to stop it, he knew it would happen again. The kiss was full of desire. Josh's hand was touching Drakes cheeks, his other arm was holding Drake.

Their tongues played with each other and Drake started to rub his hard cock on Joshs thigh. He could feel Josh's hardness on his own thigh and moaned with pleasure. It was almost unsustainable. Drake moved up and down to rub his cock against Josh and let his hand slip over Josh's chest under his waistband. Now it was Josh who moaned into Drake's mouth when Drake started to jerk him off.

Drake realized how weird this situation was. He was kissing Josh and he got hard by it, which never happened before, which never even happend on his mind before. He never saw Josh as a sexual being before. But now there was a passion between them Drake never felt before, and even if he would try to, he couldn't stop what was going on between them. He wanted it, he needed it.

The kiss ended immediately when Josh moaned out loudly, arched up his hips and climaxed in his shorts – all over Drakes hand. That was enough for Drake to come in his pants a few seconds later, just by rubbing himself against his Josh's leg.

Drake buried his face on Josh's neck, they were both out of breath. He grapped his shirt to clean up his hand and put it on Josh's chest. He noticed thankfully that Josh was still holding him close. His fingers stroked over Drakes shoulder.

"Well, that was…"

"Unexpected", Drake finished Josh's line.

"Totally." Josh laughed briefly and shook his head. "That was…"

"Awesome." Drake put his arm on Josh's chest an looked at him. He expected this moment to be emberassing and humbling, but it wasn't. Everything felt as if it was meant to be. He smiled at Josh and raised an eybrow. "Can we do it again?"

Josh laughed and put a wisps of hair out of Drakes face. "Give me a few minutes okay?"

Drake kept looking on Josh's face and tried to recognize what he was thinking but there was nothing else than happiness in his eyes and maybe love.

"What?" Josh asked quietly, prepared to end up in a embarassing scene with his brother. "Do you regret it?"

Drake shook his head. "No, but somehow I think I should. I… have no idea what happened, but… no, I don't regret it." He looked straight into Josh's eyes. "Do you?"

"No." Josh put a hand on Drakes neck and pulled him down to kiss him again. He never thought about kissing Drake or touching him or get touched by him, but right now that was all he was thinking about. Before the kiss was going to passionate again, Josh broke it up. His thumb stroked over Drake's lower lip. "I heard you got a B in english two weeks ago."

Drake swallowed and harrumphed. He didn't expect a schooltalk right now. "Yes, I did. But, can we…"

"I'm proud of you", Josh interrupted him, knowing that Drake would understand. "I'm very proud of you."

Drake remembered when he told his teddy about the B almost two weeks ago, right before Josh told him, that he won't be as close as before with him anymore. And now they were making out with each other and he got an I love you, I'm proud of you and I care for you from Josh. Drake smiled at him and buried his face on Josh's neck. "Thanks."

Josh held him in his arms and closed his eyes.

"This is weird, isn't it?" Drake asked.

"Yes, it is."

"We're brothers."

"Stepbrothers", Josh rectified him. "But that's not what's weird. It's more… I don't know, have you ever thought about that?"

Drake laughed briefly, still laying in Josh's arms. "No. Not for a second."

"And that's what makes it weird." Josh stroked through Drakes hair. "So, what are we gonna do now?"

"It's saturday morning. Lets just stay in bed until sunday evening and then…"

"Then what?" Josh asked when Drake stopped talking. Their parents would be back tomorrow evening and Megan, too. School would start again on monday, daily routine would be back.

Drake snuggled against Josh as close as possible. _Then_ … scared him. "Can't we just wait and see? I mean, we didn't plan that but it happened and it turned out to be awesome. Maybe we shouldn't make any plans."

Josh nodded. "Okay, thats not really who I am, I love making plans."

"I know", Drake laughed. "Well, I have a plan."

"Tell me about it."

"We're going to do this again and again and again… until we don't like it anymore." Drake lifted up and looked at Josh. "We can lock the door and … well, I know some places…. you know? What do you think?"

Josh smiled at him und nodded. "Sounds like a really good plan." He lifted his head and kissed Drake. "You're a really good kisser, you know that?"

"Yeah, that's what girls say", Drake put a hand an Josh's cheek and kissed him back. He put all his feelings into that kiss, all the pain he felt the last weeks, all the angst, the desire and the relief, everything. When he looked at Josh's face again he smiled when he saw that Josh kept his eyes closed. "You're not bad either."


	5. Chapter 5

**Note:**

First of all, I want to say THANK YOU for the reviews!! This is my first D/J or Slash-FF ever and I'm really glad you like it! :)  
And I'm sorry that I needed so long for an update. I do have really big plans for this FF... but I'm very busy with other stuff (Websites, work and and and).  
I hope you will keep reading even though sometimes you have to wait for an update... :)  
Thanks for reading and enjoy...

* * *

Drake sighed and turned around to look at Josh. He was still sleeping and snoring. It was almost seven o'clock, in a few minutes the alarm-clock would start ringing and the night would be over. It was time for Drake to unlock the door and go back into his own bed to make it look used. It became a ritual since this weekend a few weeks ago.

Somehow they managed to keep it a secret and somehow it turned out to be easy. Sometimes it seemed like nothing had changed. They were still brothers, best friends and they were still hanging out together all the time. The only time things turned out to be different was when they were alone somewhere.

Alone in their room, alone in the kitchen, alone in the living room. Drake smiled at Josh while he remembered some moments Josh tried to resist him just because they weren't alone in the house. It always ended up in a kiss. The problem was that simply every little kiss led into a make out and that was really dangerous when they weren't alone in the house and not in their room - with the door locked.

They never talked about what happened between them, they just let it happen. They kissed each other, they touched each other… they had fun. After all these weeks Drake had reached a point where he was willing to do more than just touching, he was willing to figure things out, getting even more closer to Josh, even though the idea of it scared him. But it seemed that Josh was very comfortable with what they were doing and so Drake never said or did anything else. It was great the way it was and he didn't want to push Josh into something he probably didn't want to do.

Every night they locked their door and slept side by side in Josh's bed - because it was bigger than Drakes. And every morning Drake went back into his own bed for a few minutes before a new day began.

And today was another day he would do that. Another day they would act as if nothing had changed, another day they would act as if they were just brothers, best friends and nothing more. But Drake knew something was different and he was afraid of it. He never needed someone, he never needed to be with someone - and everytime he thought about his future he saw himself with a beautiful girl - but not with his stepbrother.

But now he got really scared about his future. Josh was a very smart boy, he would leave for college one day and then what? Sometimes Drake still flirted with a girl to get her phonenumber, just t prove himself that not everything had changed and that he still could bet he guy he used to be - a womanizer. He never called one of these girls, he didn't even thought about kissing one of them or making out with one of them. Having their phonenumbers just cheered him up.

The other thing Drake worried about was getting dumped. He didn't expect Josh to be done with him again, but what if he met someone else? Like a few days ago when Mindy Crenshaw showed up again. Of course they met at school almost every day, but Josh and Mindy never really hung out together anymore. They just talked from time to time.

Drake remembered when they saw her with a new guy at the „Premiere". He was goodlooking and he seemed very nice, they were laughing and Drake kept an eye on Josh's response to it all the time. He never felt so insecure before…

_„You're jealous?" Drake asked and tried to figure out what Josh was thinking while he was staring at Mindy and her new boyfriend._

_„No", Josh answered and sighed. „Okay, maybe a little", he confessed. „It's weird to see her with someone else, you know? But on the other hand… it's a good thing."_

_Drake kept looking on him. „It is?"_

_Josh turned around and nodded. „Yes, it is. All the time I thought Mindy and I would be back together someday. I don't know why, but that's what I thought. Now it's different."_

_Drake couldn't resist to smile a little. Things were different and maybe Josh wasn't jealous, but he definitly was and when he realized that it scared him even more. Mindy wasn't someone, she was not just a girl. She was Josh's first crush, his first girlfriend, his first love. She would always be someone special for him. „It is?"_

_„Follow me", Josh said and stood up to leave the hall._

_Drake followed him and they ended up in Helen's office. „Wow, last time was in here I got fired for your popcorn-desaster", he reminded. „Remember?"_

_„I do." Josh closed the door, locked it and leaned against it. „Let's get some new memories of this room."_

_Drake moved closer to Josh and looked him straight in the eyes. He couldn't resist to smile at him while he had to confess to himself that somehow he got always breathless when he was alone with Josh. „What if someone shows up?"_

_„It's Helen's day off", Josh answered while grapping Drakes shirt to pull it off._

_„So, if that's the difference I guess you never did something like this with Mindy, right?" Drake started to unbotton Josh's shirt._

_„I never did anything like this with anyone before", Josh answered close to Drake's mouth and stripped off his shirt._

_„Neither did I."_

_„Drake."_

_„What?"_

_„Stop talking."_

_„Okay." Drake totally sucked the following kiss, as if it was oxygen. It was like a confirmation to be needed, to be the one Josh needed. He turned his arms around Josh's shoulders and his legs around Josh's waist when he got lifted up by him and moaned into his mouth when Josh pushed him against the door._

_„Good memories?" Josh breathed into Drake's mouth._

_Drake sighed and nodded low before he closed his eyes again while Josh started to kiss along his neck. If a simple look was enough to set them on fire, a few almost innocent touches weren't enough to put it out. Drake knew he needed more than this. „Can we please…"_

_They got interrupted when someone rattled at the door._

_„Who's that?" Drake whispered frightened._

_Josh put a finger on his lips. „Shhh."_

_„Hey, is someone in there?!"_

_„It's Helen", Josh sighed and let Drake down. „Damn it."_

_Drake sighed, grapped his shirt and put it on. Helen was the last person he wanted to se now. Honestly he didn't wanted to see any other person right now. He took a deep breath to calm down and thanked god that he was wearing Jeans. „Bad timing."_

_„Really bad timing", Josh agreed._

_„Who is it?!" Helen yelled._

_„It's me Helen!" Josh answered. „Just a minute, please."_

_„Why is the door locked?" Helen asked and rattled at the door again. „Open the door!"_

_„I will!"_

_Drake put his hand on the doorknob and looked at Josh. „Ready?"_

_„Not really!"_

_„Put your shirt over the trousers and next time, you better wear jeans", Drake whispered and giggled. He grapped Joshs shirt to pull him closer. They were so close that their noses touched lightly. The tension was back by second and Drake got almost breathless without doing anything. He sighed and rolled his eyes. They definitly needed to do more than just touching. „I promise you, I will make it even."_

_Josh closed his eyes briefly and leaned his forehead against Drake's. „Drake, that doesn't really make it better now."_

_„Sorry." Drake let him off, shook his head to make it clear again and nodded. „Ready?"_

_„Yes."_

_Drake opened the door and smiled at Helen. „Helen, you're here?"_

_Helen eyed them both a few seconds and then she looked at her office. „Okay, what are you doing here? And why did you lock the door?"_

_„We had to talk about… about… stuff", Josh answered. „School stuff."_

_„School stuff?" Helen asked confused._

_Drake rolled his eyes. Even Helen knew him well enough to realize that this was a lie. „Really, you couldn't feign something more believable?" He turned back to Helen. „Helen, it was about me… I'm… lovesick."_

_„O, yeah, that's way more believable", Josh sighed and shook his head._

_Helen raised her eyebrowns and looked at the boys. „Josh, if you want to keep your job, you better tell me the truth."_

_„You want to fire me?" Josh yelled shocked. „But… but… I… o, come on!"_

_„Mindy", Drake admitted. It wasn't a total lie, they were talking about Mindy before they went into Helen's office to make out - with each other. „It's because of Mindy. You know, his ex-girlfriend. She's out there with her new boyfriend and that's pretty hard for him."_

_„Yeah, really hard", Josh nodded. „So hard, trust me."_

_„And that's why we're here. Just to talk about it", Drake continued and tried not to laugh out loud. „And to avoid Mindy."_

_„And her new boyfriend."_

_„Yes, her new boyfriend." Drake put an arm around Josh's shoulder. „He was really down and I wanted to … help him out."_

_Helens face lightened up immediatly and she started to smile at Drake. „You're such a great brother."_

_„Yeah, I do what I can", Drake nodded._

_„Yeah, he does…", Josh smiled and grapped Drake's arm. „And he's not done doing, so… we… have to go."_

Drake put his hand on Joshs cheek, moved closer to him and kissed him lightly. Today was supposed to be a big day. Helen engaged him to sing at the „Premiere" this evening and somehow Josh managed it to invite Alan Krim, a really big bug of „Spin City Records".

„Mh", Josh sighed and started to blink.

„Morning", Drake whispered.

„Morning. What time is it?"

„We have a little time to make out before we have to get up", Drake answered. „But we can also just lie here and I keep watching you."

Josh smiled at him, took his hand and closed his eyes again. „Keep watching me."


	6. Chapter 6

Again... sorry I needed so long.

It's a really busy time lately. But here we got... 2 new chapters today :)  
And I'm still on. So please be patient.

* * *

Josh kept his eyes closed and smiled. Waking up with Drake right beside him and without being kicked out of the bed by him for what reason ever was still weird and confusing.

Things changed so much, but at the same time it was like it used to be. It was just… confusing. Josh decided to enjoy it as long as it would last. They never really talked about anything, they just let it happen whenever they want it to happen.

But even if there was something new between them, there was also something that never changed: When Drake was around him - it always ended up in trouble. No matter if they ended up handcuffed in a police car or without a pilot in a helicopter or without any female dance-partner at a dancing contest… trouble followed them with every step they made.

And something else didn't seem to change, too. Drake was still flirting around with girls. That really hurt Josh a lot, but he never said anything. He just turned around to not see it when it happened. He knew that Drake wasn't dating any girl since months and he knew Drake wasn't even kiss any girl… but the fact that he was still after them was confusing and hurtful. Did he miss something?

Josh dispelled those thoughts the second he was alone with Drake. Because when they were alone it never seemed that Drake missed anything.

„What are you worrying about?" Drake asked when he saw the expression on Josh's face. „And don't say nothing."

„A lot", Josh answered and opened his eyes. He smiled at Drake. „Are you nervous?"

„A little", Drake sighed. Somehow Josh had managed it that some really bigwig of the SpinCityRecords-Label would come to the Premiere tonight to watch him - Drake Parker - playing and singing. „Okay, maybe a lot."

„See, so we're both worrying about a lot", Josh answered, leaned forward and put a soft kiss on Drakes lips.

„Did I say thank you for this?" Drake asked and put his hand on Josh's cheek.

„Yeah." Josh closed his eyes again. „And… it's not that I don't want you to thank me again, but… I have to pee."

Drake laughed and crawled out of Josh's bed when the alarm-clock got on to make his own bed looking used. „I'm sure we will find another time for a thank you."

* * *

Drake was on a high, he was sure he never was happier in his life. All of his dreams were coming true - and some stuff he never ever dreamed about, too.

First of all - there was Josh. And he made all of Drakes dreams come true - and some more, too. SpinCityRecords offered him to buy one of his songs and play it at TV ad's on superboal, which was more than a little chance to become popular, because the superboal always had more than 20 million viewers.

Even the fact that Walter somehow managed it to make Helen's grandmother living in their house for a week and hosting her in Megan's room, so that Megan had to move into the boys room for this time … didn't bother Drake anymore. At least not until he and Josh opened their door and found themselves in a pink room.

„What did you do?" Josh asked Megan.

Complaining never worked with Megan. In the end she always won. For one week she decided to change the boy room into a girls room and put up her brothers on an airbed, which wasn't really big enough for both of them.

Drake looked around. With Megan in their room they couldn't really celebrate the last days and everything that had happen, at least not the way he wanted to. But he wanted to celebrate, he wanted to be alone with Josh.

„Okay, want to see a movie?" Drake asked Josh while they were sitting on the airbed.

Josh hunched his shoulder. „But we just were at the Premiere, why should we go back?"

Drake raised an eyebrow. As smart as Josh was, he was really dumb when it came to metaphors. „To watch a movie."

„I don't want to watch a movie."

„Neither do I."

„But why would you go back to the premiere, if you don't wanna wat…", Josh looked at Drake and snapped his fingers. „O."

„Oooo", Drake nodded.

„You're really slow to catch on", Megan said while still varnishing her nails.

„Yes, really bro, we have to practise this", Drake sighed and shook his head.

„I'm sorry!" Josh defended himself and stood up again.

Drake pulled him out of their room or of what's left of their room and closed the door behind them. „Lets go!"

Josh turned around. „Do you think she knows about us?"

"Wherefrom?" Drake answered. „She thinks I want to hook up with some girl at the premiere, not that I want to make out with you. Keeping us a secret is the easy part, Josh… because even though they would catch us, they wouldn't believe it."

* * *

A few days later things totally went out of hand. First Helen gave the managerjob and the golden vest to Josh's ex-girlfriend Mindy Crenshaw - who never showed any interest in working at the Premiere before, but became Josh's boss from now on. And as if that wasn't enough to deal with, the contract Josh had signed for Drake turned out to be not as good as they thought it was. With signing the contract he transmitted all the music rights for Drake's songs to SpinCityRecords and no matter how much he apologized for it, Drake was totally unforgiving. But what hurt the most was that he named him a loser for not doing anything to stop SpinCityRecords. They totally ruined Drake's song and neither Drake nor Josh were really excited anymore to hear the new version of that song on a TV ad.

So Josh decided to talk to them again. The result was that he got a chance to switch the songs. He remembered Drakes words … loser and a few minutes later he stood alone in front of the mixing board, the CD with the new song right in front of him and a dish full of shrimps right behind him. He had switched the CD's… without any permission.

Drake was still pissed and there was no chance to talk to him before the superboal started. Everytime they were alone, he got mad at Josh and then he left the room. So Josh decided to make it a surprise. But Drake wasn't even willing to watch it.

„Where do you go?" Josh asked him.

„On the roof", Drake answered.

„Why?"

„Because you aren't there!"

Josh catched him right before Drake could climb out of the window. He grabbed him around his waist and pushed him on the couch in front of the TV. A few seconds later all the fighting was forgotten when Drake recognized his original song.

„O my god", he jumped up. „What… why?"

„I switched the songs", Josh said and turned the TV off again after the commercial was over.

„You switched the songs?" Drake asked.

Josh nodded. „I switched the songs. That's what you would have done if you got the chance to, right?"

Drake raised an eyebrown. He definitely would have done that, but he also knew that Josh would have tried to stop him. And now… Josh had done it. „I am a bad influence for you."

„Hug me, brother!" Josh said with a smile on his face and opened his arms.

Drake followed the invitation and hugged him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Being angry wasn't funny and he missed hanging out with Josh and making out with Josh. „I'm sorry."

„Me, too." Josh looked at Drake. „Look, I should have read the contract… This was your big chance and I ruined it. I'm sorry I let you down."

Drake nodded. He remembered the fight they had the last morning, when he woke up and started yelling on Josh. „You were right when you said that I also let you down… from time to time. So… this was your first time, I think I over reacted. It was just…"

„You weren't over reacting", Josh disagreed. „This shouldn't have happened."

„I'm sorry I called you a loser", Drake said. „I was… pissed off. I didn't mean that."

„I forgive you."

„Good", Drake sighed. „And now…" He grabbed Josh's shirt and pulled him closer to kiss him. It only had been three days they were fighting because of the contract, but Drake was sure this had been the hardest three days of his life. He missed being close to Josh and even though he was angry, he knew he wouldn't be able to stay angry for a long time. Especially when Josh looked at him with his sad blue eyes and asked for forgiveness. He leant his forehead against Josh's. „Want to watch a movie?"

„What, now?" Josh asked breathless and swallowed. Watching a movie was not what he wanted to do right now. Three days have never been longer before. „I thought we could…wait!" He raised up his forefinger and looked at Drake. „This is a metaphor-thing, right?"

„Yes", Drake nodded.

„Okay. Then sure, I want to watch a movie. A long one."


End file.
